Saturday Morning Send-offs

This morning I am craving chocolate mini-muffins with chocolate chips.  I believe that there are two reasons for this particular craving: the first being that I can't have a chocolate mini-muffin with chocolate chips, and the second, and more important reason is because I a nearing the two year mark since I lost my mom. 
There were many mornings that my brother and I would wake up at an hour that should not exist, particularly on the weekends, to the sound of my mom baking something in the kitchen.  If we stayed in bed, it wouldn't be long before the sweet smell of muffins or coffee cakes or banana bread would draw us to the kitchen.  She was always making something, and most of the time it was something that she wouldn't eat.  She was making it just because she knew that it would make her family happy.
My favorite thing that she would make on days like this was the chocolate mini-muffins with chocolate chips.  They were tasty, but this was not the best thing about them.  No, the best thing about the chocolate mini-muffins was the generosity of them.  I know that sounds weird, but keep reading and you'll understand.  The chocolate mini-muffins were something that my mom would make for my brother and me when we were going off on a trip, like an away soccer game, or when we had a track meet.  Anything that involved a full day of activity, there would be muffins.  And the muffins were not just for my brother and I - oh no - my mom made enough muffins to feed the entire soccer team.  Even the people who were not always nice to us would get a muffin because there were just that many.  And for track, well there weren't QUITE enough muffins for the entire team, but there were plenty to go around amongst our own little groups of friends. 
The muffins were so great not just because they tasted good, but because they were shared.  It gave my mom joy to be able to make her children and her friends smile.  And it gave me joy to be able to share with my friends and to hear them say that my mom was awesome.  The muffins were a send-off snack, an unspoken blessing, a good luck gesture, a hug from mom before the big race or game. 
Some days I feel like I could use some of those muffins, not just for the muffins, but for all of the love and kindness and generosity that was wrapped up in them.